Eleven at Night
by Adrenalynn
Summary: Miharu goes to stay the night at Yoites, but he's very nervous; he doesn't know what the older ninja's intentions are. Set a few years ahead of the manga/anime. Slight OOC-ness on Miharu's part.


**My first fan-fiction. Please review, and I hope it isn't too cheesy! XD**

Gingerly, I sit down on the bed. Yoite smiles and I smile back, though inside I feel like I'm going to throw up with nerves. Why did he invite me here? Is it because he wants me to…?

If so, what if I chickened out? Would he be mad at me? Or offended? Would he ignore me and carry on anyway? Or say I let him, and I wasn't any good at it? What if I hurt him? Would he be mad _then_? Or what if I've got it wrong, and I start moving things faster than he wants? Would he be mad at me for that, too? Or what if—

"It's late," he says quietly, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yes." I nod stiffly.

"You tired?"

"No." It's an honest answer; I'm too worked up to be tired. Oh, God. I feel like I'm going to be sick any second.

"Me neither." He pauses and I bite my lip. Then he continues suddenly; "Miharu… turn the light off."

My heart flips. "What… why?"

"Just do it; it's too bright like this." He turns to me and flashes me his best I'd-do-it-myself-but-I'm-too-lazy smile. "Please?"

Not wanting to annoy him, I get up and do as he asks, my mind doing overtime calculations; I don't know what's wrong with me tonight, I'm getting so worked up. What does he mean, it's too bright? Too bright for _what_?

I flick the switch and the room plunges into darkness; the seconds pass before my vision is cleared and I make my way back to the bed. I still can't see properly in the gloom, but it looks like Yoite is smiling.

"Thanks. That was really bugging me."

He turns and, before I can think of anything to say in reply, plants a soft, tender kiss on my lips. When he pulls away, he keeps his face very close to mine; so close I can feel his breath tickle my skin.

"Yoite—"

I cut myself off, biting down hard on my lip. Too late though; Yoite must've already noticed the apprehension in my voice.

"Miharu. Something wrong?" I glance up into his eyes, which are sparkling demurely in the low light, filled with concern. Then I shrug.

"No, I'm fine."

"Okay. If you say so." Yoite doesn't sound convinced but he isn't going to argue. I tense as he wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in his sweet icing sugar scent, which, at any other time, I would find reassuring, though now I have to fight the urge not to stiffen. Mechanically, I put my arms around him back, but it feels off. Even when he kisses my forehead, my only thought is, _what's going to happen next? _

He notices almost immediately that something's not right. "Miharu? Come on, something's wrong, I can tell. What's going on? Have I upset you?"

He sounds genuinely concerned. I shake my head, "No, sorry," then I pause to think of a good excuse for my behaviour. "I'm just not feeling so great."

It's not good enough. "Why not? Is it the lights? Do you want them back on?"

"No," I say, clinging to him rigidly. "I'm fine." I kiss him. Anything to shut him up.

He grips me by the shoulders and shoves me against the wall, probably harder than he meant to. "Miharu, come on. I'm not stupid; I can tell there's something bothering you. And don't try telling me it doesn't matter, because clearly it does. And I'm guessing I'm a part of it somehow, from the way you tensed when I tried to hug you just now. Don't think I didn't notice that."

I can't speak. Can't respond at all. Can't, or I'll cry.

Silence.

"Miharu? Please, talk to me…" Yoite loosens his grip on my arms, and I fall into him, suddenly feeling really stupid. Yoite cares about me; he always has. Suddenly the whole thought of us falling out over something that might not even happen at all feels so ridiculous I can't help but blush.

"Miharu? Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry!"

I hadn't even realised I was until he pointed it out, but there I am; fat, salty tears dripping from my eyes and getting his nightshirt all wet.

I sniffle them back. "No, Yoite, it's not you."

"Then what? Why are you crying?"

I brace myself. "Yoite… why exactly did you invite me here tonight? Be honest."

Yoite looks confused, but there's a small smile on his face. "Because you're my boyfriend, and I want to spend time with you. Is that such a crime?"

I continue edgily. "When you say 'spend time'… what do you mean? Spend time how?"

He pauses, as if he's trying to work out what it is I'm getting at. "Well, I don't know… like normal, I guess. Talking. Whatever we normally get up to, though you'd be here all night so we'd have a lot longer. Why? What did you think I was going to say?"

I wait. The seconds pass and Yoite strokes my back gently. Eventually, he works it out. "Miharu? Oh my God, did you really think I was—"

"I'm sorry, Yoite, I know it's stupid," I gabble, cheeks hot, clutching him tight.

He's laughing. Laughing uncontrollably and holding me close. Laughing at me. He's never laughed at me before. I feel so stupid, and he clearly thinks so too.

I hesitate before mumbling, "You're laughing. Do you think I'm an idiot?"

He stops immediately. "No! No way! I was laughing because"—he ruffles my hair –"you're _sweet_! Hell no, you're not an idiot. Did I.. did I really worry you?"

I bury my face in his chest. "Um… maybe a little."

Then he takes me by surprise. He holds me tighter, leans down and whispers, very seriously; "I love you, Miharu. I promise I would _never _do anything like that, unless you were a hundred percent okay with it. Okay?"

I nod. "Okay. Thanks."

And then it's alright again, as if it never happened. Yoite kisses me, and I don't tense; I simply relax in his arms, breathing in his scent and remembering exactly why I love him.

And then he stops dead, tense and alert, no longer lost in what he's doing. This puzzles me.

"This… sucks," he says, slowly.

I bite back my surprise. "What?"

He continues, unaware of my alarm; "What is it, April something? It's freezing! It should be getting warmer by now, don't you think?"

I smile in relief and nestle into him. "I think it's just because it's night and we aren't under the covers."

He squeezes me. "Shall we get under them, then?"

I nod, suddenly chilled to the bone. He's right, this _is _ridiculous for April. We clamber into bed and huddle there together for warmth, and I wonder to myself how I hadn't noticed the low temperature before.

Yoite doesn't say a word; just lays there on my left, between me and the rest of the room, flat on his back, breathing softly. I roll round to face him and snuggle nearer, feeling his arm wrap around my back and draw me in. Lying there in the crook of his arm with my head on his chest, he feels so slender and fragile it almost frightens me. He's always been like that; tall and skinny with just the hint of anorexic. Not that that's the case, of course. According to Yukimi, he eats like an elephant and always has been that way.

Gently, I turn my head a little and kiss his collarbone; his head's a little too far away. He goes to roll round to face me, but I stop him with a hand.

"Miharu?" his voice drifts over to me.

"Please don't move," I mumble into him, "I just want to stay like this. Just… humour me."

He strokes my back. "Okay."

And so we stay like that a while, him with his hand against the small of my back while I play with his hair, running it through my fingers and feeling its softness and silkiness.

He gives a small laugh and turns his head to look at me. "What is it with you and my hair?"

I blush, realising how strange it must feel for him to have my fingers tangled in his glossy black locks. "I don't know, I'm sorry. I just like playing with it, I guess. I love your hair."

He smiles and kisses me on the nose, rolling over fully to face me now. "What, more than you love _me_?"

I punch him weakly; affectionately, if that makes sense. "Shut up."

He kisses me again, full on the lips this time; it's a startlingly tender kiss. Yoite always has been gentle with me, but even so, I wasn't expecting something so intimate on the spur of the moment. The embrace is so wonderful that when I pull away, a few seconds later, I have to catch my breath; his face is still close to mine, his breath warm on my skin. "I think it's sweet. _You're _sweet. I love you, Miharu."

I close my eyes, the moment so perfect I don't want it to end. My throat is dry, making it hard to speak, but eventually I manage, "I love you too, Yoite."

He pulls me nearer and we kiss again, and for a moment I feel unreal; one second feverishly hot and a little dizzy, the next so cold I can't help but shiver. It's brilliant.

Immediately, my hand moves to Yoite's cheek, and there we lay, running our hands over each other, allowing ourselves to kind of melt into one another. When the kiss is over I let out a long sigh of ecstasy and wrap my arms around him, head against his chest. Still. Calm. Perfect.

Yoite cuddles me; his head rests atop mine and I can hear his heart beating very softly through his shirt. Slowly, so's not to disturb the moment, he presses me closer to him. I take a deep breath and inhale his sweetness. I still don't understand why he smells like he does – like he's hiding a bag of icing sugar under his clothes – I addressed him about it once but he just looked confused.

He seems to wake up a little then. "Miharu… you're shaking."

I'm startled; this is news to me. "Really? I never… am I?"

He nods. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes. Never better, actually."

I tilt my head back in time to see his smile. "That's okay, then." He leans into me and sighs. "Miharu… you weren't _that _worried before, were you?"

I shrug weakly. "I don't know. I guess I was, a bit, but surely that doesn't matter now? Unless…"

Yoite strokes my hair gently. "You're right. But you really can trust me, you know. I'm scared by the idea too."

I'm shocked. "You… you are?"

He nods. "Completely. But, Miharu… we should probably be a little more open about this stuff in future. I mean, it's no good me inviting you over if you're just going to spend the night worried stiff, is it? I know we've resolved that now, but the point still stands…"

He's sweet when he's trying to be responsible. Slowly, I shift up and kiss his cheek. "You're right. I should have been straight with you."

"You don't have to be sorry, Miharu. I mean, if you didn't feel like you could talk to me about it, then that's got to be partly my fault… right?"

I shrug. "It's not you, Yoite, it's me. I don't want to be so awkward, but I just don't know how I'm meant to bring it up."

"Shh." He puts a velvety finger to my lips and leans in close to whisper, "If I ever worry you again, just stop me and let me know. I promise not to get mad or anything. Okay?"

I nod. "In that case, Yoite, I just want to ask… if we ever were in a situation where we were considering, you know, actually going ahead… what would you do?"

"That's for us both to decide at the time." He kisses my forehead. "As for now… all I can say is that I love you, and I don't see any reason for either of us to hesitate. It's a big deal, I know… but we trust each other, right?"

I nod and bury my face in his chest. He's being so calm and nice about all this; the exact kind of person I never dared hope I'd end up with, and yet the kind I always secretly wished I would.

But did that mean I was ready to go all the way with him?

"Yoite…" I murmur shyly, "If I did someday soon decide I was ready, would you… want it?"

Silence. "Yoite?"

He kisses me. All of a sudden, I'm hit with such passion, such passion I almost consider forgetting the question and letting him make love to me right there. What would it feel like? Would it feel good? A tingling sensation spreads over my body, lingering in my stomach and between my legs, and I am suddenly excited, my fear replaced by a burning desire.

"M-Miharu…" Yoite gasps. "Miharu, stop!"

He pulls out of the embrace with such a sudden force it makes me jump. We lay there a moment, in dazed silence, catching our breath. His hand is flat against my chest and all of a sudden I'm shaking again.

"Miharu…"

The tears come before I can stop them, spilling out down my cheeks and making my breath come in thick, shuddery sobs. Yoite pulls me back and locks me in his arms, stroking my back comfortingly and murmuring consolations like, "It's alright, Miharu… I'm sorry… please don't cry, I love you."

I want to apologise to him but I'm crying too hard to do anything but lay in Yoite's arms and let him rock me like a baby, until the tears dry up and I can barely move. I'm still shaking, and Yoite must be annoyed with me by now, but if he is, he doesn't let on. He just lays there beside me, clutching me tight, as I melt into his side and whimper uselessly. He still hasn't really said anything. It comes as a shock to find that that's because he's crying too.

Tremulously, I bring up a hand and wipe his tears away. "Yoite?"

He turns his head slightly, into the pillow, and allows his fringe to fall across his face, like he doesn't want me to see him. "I'm sorry, Miharu…" he sobs. "I should have just answered your question…"

I kiss him and hug him tight, like I could never let go. "Oh Yoite… it's okay. Please don't cry."

He snuffles a tiny bit and doesn't protest when I brush his hair aside to see his face. Such a perfect face, even when he's crying. I kiss him gently, pressing my mouth softly to his and waiting to see if he kisses me back. He does. He responds slowly at first, angling his head a little to the side and teasing my lips open with his. Of course, they part for him automatically, and we stay like that for a good few seconds, enjoying a slow, romantic kiss with no confusion attached and no pressure to go any further. When we pull away, I smile and rest my head against him.

"I don't know," he says suddenly.

I glance up, confused. "Huh?"

"I'm answering your question. I don't know."

"Oh." Part of me is relieved. But another part of me, I'm a little surprised to find, is disappointed. "Why not?"

He tenses up a little. "Please don't think it's because of you. I just…" his arms tighten around me. "I just get so nervous when I think about it."

He sounds it, he genuinely does. I kiss his neck softly and bury my face in it. "You know I would never hurt you?"

He nods stiffly. "It's not that."

"Then what?"

He gulps like he knows he's trapped. His body is rigid tense and his arms are shaking the tiniest bit, just enough to let me know I've hit a nerve. "It's… hard to explain. I guess it's just the idea… and, well… of not being able to hide…"

He breaks off. Startled, I ask him, "You mean you're _shy_?"

He exhales shakily. "No. Not exactly. I guess maybe that's part of it, but.. I'm… a little self-conscious, to be honest."

I'm stunned. "Really?"

"Yeah." He buries his fave in my hair and relaxes his frame, though he's still gripping me tightly.

"Yoite…" I begin, my voice low and gentle and just a little cautious. "You don't need to be. You're perfect, just as you are."

He draws me nearer and plants a kiss on my cheek, still a little tense but with a small smile in place now; "…Thanks, Miharu."

"And I'm not just saying it," I persist urgently. "You really are. I'm so lucky, I still don't understand why you fell for someone like me. Stood next to you… I'm worthless."

Seemingly more angered than flattered by my comment, he pulls me right up against him, gripping my upper arms hard. "Don't you dare. you're worth ten of me, so don't you dare."

I kiss his chin, meaning to get his lips but missing. "I don't mean to upset you, I'm sorry… I just don't see how I could ever be like you. I think you're perfect, that's all I meant!"

He sighs a little, kisses my cheek and buries his face in my neck, loosening his grip on me and mumbling; "Miharu… please don't say that. That's not how I see you at all."

"I'm sorry. But I really am lucky to have you, that's just how I think."

"No, Miharu, I'm lucky to have _you._" His lips tickle my ear, and he doesn't sound stressed out any more; he's gone back to being happy, and _affectionate_, which he naturally is by temperament, but is even better when he's actually trying. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. The reason I keep existing." I close my eyes; his words are all over me. "You always make me smile, even when I want to cry. I love you so much." He kisses me softly – a lingering kiss – and when we pull apart, he leans close and smiles, eyes locked on mine. "Besides," he says, "you're also completely _gorgeous_."

This stuns me so much I have to avert my eyes, and lower my head so that he can't see the deep pink blush spreading over my cheeks. "Wh-what?"

He cups my hot cheek in his palm and tilts my face back up, still smiling. "I said that you were gorgeous. Is that… a problem?"

I shake my head quickly, my blush deepening. "It's just… no-one's ever called me that before." I pause. "Apart from Raikou. But come on, he's _Raikou_. He says that sort of thing to _everyone_."

Yoite kisses my nose. "That's silly. Has no-one seriously ever called you that?"

"No." And I'm pretty sure no-one's ever thought it, either.

He presses his face close to mine. "Well they should. I mean it, Miharu. You're beautiful, you honestly are."

There is a tiny space between our faces and I can feel his warm breath tickling against my skin. Such a perfect person. Did he really just call me beautiful?

We're pressed so close; the only thing between us is our silence. I want to talk to him but I don't know what to say.

"I…" Yoite begins, but I put a finger to his lips to silence him. Gingerly, my hand shaking a little for unknown reasons, I move it away and trace it along his jaw. And then I take a deep breath, hope for the best, lean forward and close the gap.

And we're tangled. A tangle of lips – of bodies, of legs – lying tangled together in the tangled white sheets. He hugs me closer and runs his hands over me; in the intensity I find myself doing the same thing. The feverishness is back now, along with a fluttery tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach that makes my hips press to his without me even realising it.

The heat of it all makes my mind go totally blank; my one and only thought is Yoite, and this magical embrace we're sharing. My heart is racing, and my bones immediately turn to sand.

I know what's going to happen next; of course I do, I'm not stupid. The thought sends shivers up my spine. It feels good like this – of course – and I want to go further. But if I was able to catch my breath and clear my head for a minute, would I still say that?

I don't care; there's no going back now. Yoite's hand is at the small of my back and I can feel it creeping upwards, under my shirt. It feels good. So good I don't even try to stop him when I feel him easing my nightshirt up, and I raise my arms a second to help him guide it over my head. For a moment I feel cold – it's night and I'm not fully dressed – and then Yoite is back against me and the fiery warmth sets back in.

My chest is heaving and I can feel Yoite's hands against it, stroking me, desperately feeling my skin. Our lips break contact and he is kissing my neck, then my collarbone, trailing them right down to my ribcage. My breath comes in ragged sighs of pleasure and I draw him back up to me, lips grazing his as I run my fingers through his luscious dark hair.

It's unreal. So unreal it forces stuttering laughter from my lips.

Yoite stops immediately. "You're laughing."

"No…" I try to stop but I can't. He sounds hurt, but there's nothing I can do.

"Did I do something wrong?"

I shake my head, still catching my breath. "No, sorry… I just feel so weird. This is just so new. I'm really sorry, Yoite."

"Okay." He doesn't sound convinced.

I sigh and let my head roll forward onto his chest. "Oh, Yoite, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, you did everything just fine. I love you."

He smiles. "I know. It's okay. I love you too." A pause. Then he gives me a feeble tug. "Come here."

We hug, and immediately I feel better. Quietly, letting another sigh escape me, I press myself into him and kiss him ever-so-gently on the lips. Then I pull away, deciding I need to address him about what's obviously on both of our minds.

"Yoite, I—"

"Shh. It's okay, I know what you're going to ask. We don't have to go any further, unless you want to… Miharu."

He says my name slowly, passionately, as if every syllable means something very important to him. I trace my hand up his back to his neck, then move on to stroking his hair, taking my time to run my fingers through every shimmering strand.

I breathe deeply. "I don't know about you, but I'm happy to do anything. If we're going to go through with it, I'm happy to, but I'm also fine staying like this. It's up to you."

He kisses my forehead again. "Well in that case, I guess we'll just have to see where the night takes us."

He says this so suggestively I can't help but laugh, and when I do he joins merrily in, pulling me close and cocooning me in his warm, sugary scent. I bury my face in his neck, tilt my head up and kiss his jaw; I can't say why, it just feels right. We lay there for a while, kissing sweetly and stroking each other's arms and backs and hair, until Yoite breaks off the kiss and pulls me into his chest, holding me tight, almost tense.

"Y-Yoite?" I mumble weakly into him. He relaxes into me a little and rubs my back, between my shoulderblades, where it feels best.

"I just thought," he whispers, "if we do… you know… would you really be ready for it? Be honest."

I smile, though of course, with my head in his chest he can't see. Slowly, my voice a little cautious though I'm sure I'm right, I say, "Yes. I'm ready when you are."

And then we kiss again, and the magic is back as we lose ourselves in each other's tender embrace, gently touching and experimenting on each other, exploring the faces and features we thought we already knew so well.

It feels like the next natural step as I begin to lift Yoite's shirt, revealing inch-by-inch his perfect, marble-white skin. His ribs stick out quite a bit, but I see past it. As far as I'm concerned, every part of him is angelically beautiful.

And then his shirt is gone and I'm pushing him down flat on his back, our kiss steadily deepening, becoming more desperate and needy. He pulls me down onto him with his hands; his arms are wrapped around me loosely, elbows bent, pushing me closer though we're already tightly pressed. My hands are in his hair and stroking his face, nervous energy radiating from the tips, and I am lying draped across him with my lower half curled round his side.

Heat driving us on, we fumble around for the rest of our clothes and gently slide them off, kicking them away to somewhere at the end of the bed where they won't get in our way.

We're kissing the whole time, urging each other forward, letting our hands and lips say everything words fail to. It's amazing and I've never felt so close to anyone in my whole life.

Next thing I know, I'm on my hands and knees and Yoite is lying on the bed just inches below me; his legs are splayed either side of mine and his knees are bent, shaking slightly. I kiss him full on the lips, then gently travel lower, to his neck and chest.

His arms are wrapped around his torso and he is rigid still, and his arms move almost like he's fending me off. Worried, but eager too, I kiss his cheek, then move my face closer to his ear and whisper his name.

He takes a shuddery breath. "Y-yes?"

I give a small smile and murmur fondly, "If we're going to do this, you need to open up, Yoite. Please don't fight me away. I promise I'll be gentle with you."

He nods, slowly. "You're right. I'm sorry, I'm just not used to it… it's kind of scary. But I'll be okay; I just need a little time to adjust."

"I know." We kiss. "It's okay, I'll go easy. I'm new to this too, remember."

Slowly, he lifts his elegant, lily-white arms and stretches them out, placing them shaking on the bed, laying himself open to me. It's a wilful act, though I can tell it's one that petrifies him. Inside my head, I pray I don't let him down.

Not knowing what I'm meant to do, I let feeling take over and go by my heart, grazing his pallid skin with my lips and holding him down gently. I know Yoite is and always has been intersexed; of course this makes things a little complicated, but I try not to think about it and instead do what feels right. Letting my lips lightly caress his neck, I lower myself and glide into him.

"_AHH!_"

Yoite throws his arms around me and holds me tightly to him, tense and quivering. His breathing is all over the place and his nails dig into my back.

My mind flashes red. "Yoite? Oh, God, did I hurt you?"

He takes a ragged breath and relaxes, still keeping me locked close. "M-Miharu…"

I kiss him. "Oh my God, please forgive me, Yoite… I'm so sorry…"

He kisses my cheek softly. "I'm fine, it's okay." His grip loosens a bit. "Do you want to try again?"

I nod hesitantly, scared but unwilling to let tonight slip away. "I don't know what I'm meant to do."

I pull out of him and he whimpers. "It's okay. All you really need to do is slow down a bit. You know… relax. Focus on how it feels."

"Yes. Okay. I promise I'll try."

We kiss again – a passionate, warming kiss – and I exhale, allowing the tension in my muscles to dissipate. It's easier when we're kissing. I can just forget about the pressure of what I'm doing and go with it.

At that moment I feel Yoite's cool hand on my hip to guide me; the temperature sends an electrical charge through my body and I find myself even more aroused than I was before.

I enter him slowly this time, and Yoite gives a light moan as I do, but, I'm mildly surprised to realise, it isn't from pain. Taking my time to find the right place to slot myself in, I keep going until our hips come into contact and I can't go any further. Yoite wraps his arms around me and I pull back out slightly, then thrust back in again, taking care to be as gentle as I can.

And then we're doing it. Properly doing it; there on the bed, completely naked, holding each other close as we find a rhythm to suit us both. Admittedly it's a little awkward and mechanical at first – and we must have made the bed shake a bit – but the simple fact that we're actually doing it, and it isn't a complete disaster, is enough for us.

For a moment, our lips break contact, and a sigh escapes me without warning. Beneath me I can feel Yoite's warm body trembling, and his voice is small and wobbly in my ear; "Miharu…"

My pace picks up around then, and I rock my hips into his more insistently than before. Yoite arches into the thrusts and cries out as something inside him is hit, something sensitive. The sound sends electricity running through my veins and I desperately search out the spot again, loving the reaction it elicited from him.

I suck a lovebite into the flesh of his neck, my lower half doing all the work now, and my boyfriend tips his head back, letting out a barely-suppressed scream of bliss. And all of a sudden a wave of heat overcomes me, so intense I can't help but cry out myself.

"_YOITE!_"

And then it's like a fuse has gone somewhere inside me, because I collapse against Yoite's chest in exhaustion, feeling, if nothing else, like I'm coming down from a serious sugar high. Underneath me, my lover – and how good it feels to be able to call him that at last – is catching his breath.

After finally gathering enough strength, I mumble into him, "Are you okay?"

He nods slightly. "Yes. You?"

"Mm-hmm." Silence. "Did it… hurt?"

"Of course it did, it was my first time. But it's okay; no matter what you did it still would have. You were really sensitive about it, actually…"

I kiss his shoulder; the nearest part of him to my lips. "I love you."

"You too." He rubs my back. "Miharu… you know you're still… um…"

"Oh!" I realise suddenly. He sighs as I pull out of him, then I collapse beside him on the bed, chest heaving, arm draped over him lazily.

We lay there in silence for a while, before I notice that there are tears on his pale cheeks, glistening in the darkness like jewels.

"Yoite? What's wrong?" I ask, gesturing.

He shuts his eyes. "Nothing." He wipes the tears away with the back of his hand; his head turns and he manages a small smile. "…I'm glad I met you, Miharu."

"You too," I reply automatically, then; "Please don't cry. Tears don't look right on your face." I kiss his forehead, then his nose, then his lips, all in a line. "Your pretty face."

He shuts his eyes and relaxes against me, his head settling beside mine. "Okay. I'm sorry."  
I hug him. "It's nothing."

Another warm, comfortable silence. I turn to look into his sapphire-blue eyes, glinting at me through the gloom more beautiful than any gemstone the same shade. "Did I hurt you? At the beginning."

He shakes his head. "No. I mean, it's alright. I don't mind."

"I did, didn't I?"

"Miharu." Yoite sounds stern. "I told you to leave it; it's okay. I'm fine. It doesn't matter."

His words fill me with a strange hurt; my eyes prick and I instantly begin to feel foolish. Slowly, I speak, trying my hardest not to sound as choked up as I feel. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… does it still hurt?"

"No!" he says tightly, tone laced with barely-hidden frustration; he sounds like he really wants me to shut up about it, but I can't.

"Really? I thought—"

"Yes! I'm fine!" he insists.

I reach for his far shoulder. "But—"

"_Don't touch me!_"

Silence. I stop dead, shock coursing through me. In all the time we've been together, Yoite has never snapped at me like that. I know it's no big deal, it's my fault really, but I can't help feeling betrayed. Again, the tears threaten to surface. I swallow them back in earnest.

Through the dark, I hear Yoite speak quietly; he sounds timid and there's a touch of remorse in his tone. "Miharu… I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"I know," I reply stiffly, falsely. I roll onto my side, away from him, in the hope that if I cry, he won't notice.

"No… really. It was a stupid thing to say. I just… it just…"

"It's fine." I know I sound way too sharp and tense. But I can't help it. I don't know what it is, but it's almost like I _want _him to feel hurt. Petty and stupid, I know. But when I say I can't help it, I mean I can't help it.

Yoite continues despite my coldness. "Mih—"

"_Goodnight_, Yoite." Even _I _am a little surprised at the sternness of my voice. There's a pause.

Yoite retreats like a wounded puppy, voice barely audible as he replies, "Good night, Miharu."

We lay like that for what feels like hours, a wall of silence between us. Without him holding me, keeping me warm, the blanket is useless; cold is creeping into my bones and I'm shivering a little but I grit my teeth, telling myself I'll get through it. It's just one night.

_One cold, lonely night of feeling like a cold-hearted idiot, wondering if Yoite will ever forgive me for being so over-the-top hateful. _

And it really is cold; below zero to say the least. I swallow, then sit up and set about hunting around for my clothes in the dark. Beside me, I can hear Yoite doing the same, though I daren't look his way for fear that he'll be glaring, or worse, crying.

We lay back down, me facing the wall, a massive gap between us. Yoite sighs. I tell myself he's just breathing out, but in my mind, there is hurt in that sigh. Anger. Sorrow. The magic of tonight is over between us. And it's all because of my big, unforgiving mouth.

I want Yoite. That seems like a stupid thought, considering we're laying side-by-side. But it's true. Though we're close enough to listen to each other breathe, I feel like we're miles away. I want to hug him – to let him know I'm not mad at him, and that I still love him, and that I'm sorry – but I can't. There's something stopping me. I'm scared. What if he's angry? It would be even more awkward laying here after he'd pushed me away than it is now, by far.

I shut my eyes and listen to him as he breathes. His breathing is faster than mine, and I can hear little tremors in it. Is he okay? Perhaps he's just cold. But he might not be. For all I know, he could be in pain.

Hesitantly, I turn to face him. His head is buried in the pillow and his hands hide his face. I lay there and stare at him for a second, studying his perfect form, before mumbling, "Yoite?"

He tenses. "What is it?"

"…Are you okay? You're shaking."

He gives a small nod and whimpers, "I'm fine."

I don't believe him. Slowly, I reach out for his hand and brush it aside gently, revealing his pale, tearstained face. I'm stunned. "Yoite? You're crying?"

He shakes his head quickly. "No…"

But he's too choked up to say anything else. Filled with guilt and concern for my love, I wrap him in my arms, murmuring soft apologies and weak comforts in an attempt to soothe him.

He gives up on trying to suppress it and wilts against me, sobbing openly into my chest and letting me rock him like a baby. "M-Miharu…"

"Shh." I put a finger to his lips to silence him. "It's okay. I'm sorry. I overreacted. I know you never meant it."

He takes a deep breath. "I love you, Miharu."

And then we kiss, and it's like it never happened. I relax against him and we hold each other close, lips gently caressing each other's, eyes closed as we run our hands over each other fondly.

We stay like this for a little while, locked in each other's sweet embrace, and then we have sex again, only it really is making love this time; captivating and tender, just the way it should be, with no nerves and no pain and no need to worry about what could go wrong.

Afterwards I let out a long sigh and nestle into the crook of Yoite's arm. He kisses my forehead. "I love you, Miharu."

"You said that before," I giggle. "…I love you too."

We lay there a while in contented silence, still and perfect as our pulses return to normal. Yoite speaks softly, lovingly; his lips tickle my hair. "Looks like we might as well have not bothered putting our clothes back on."

I nod sleepily, suddenly a little tired. "What time is it, Yoite?"

He twists his head round to try and glimpse the clock. "Oh, it's… wow."

"What? What is it?"

"It's almost three in the morning."

I gasp. "But… we only came in here at about eleven. Surely time can't have gone that fast?"

By accident, I let a yawn escape. Yoite gives me a funny look; he opens his mouth to speak and I expect him to be annoyed with me for getting tired so quickly. Instead, he smiles and says, "You sound like a cat when you yawn."

"_What?_" I blush bright red. Come on, what's that supposed to mean?

He laughs. "It's okay. It's cute. I just… noticed."

I exhale and bury my face into him. "You flatter me. You really do."

He laughs playfully and ruffles my hair. "Oh, come on. You know you wouldn't want me any different."

I reach up and kiss his nose. "You're right. I'd only ever want you as you are; happy, friendly and beautiful."

He pulls me in for a long, slow kiss, then hugs me tight. "…I can't imagine what would have happened to me if I hadn't met you, Miharu."

He sounds choked up. I hug him back hard. "Oh, Yoite. Don't worry about it. The point is that you _did _meet me, and that's what counts."

I don't like remembering Yoite as he was when we first met. So distant. He wouldn't let anyone help him, even though he clearly needed it. He was so desperate to escape his own existence he would go to the extreme, hurting anyone who threatened to stop him and pushing away any attempt at friendship. He was reckless, impulsive, sneaky and cold-hearted. That was the Yoite I used to know. _Before I came along, and he started to realise he didn't have to be alone._

I feel his arms tighten around me a little. "You're right. That's history now." He pauses. "…Thanks, Miharu."

"What for?"

"Seeing through it. All the isolation, and the Kira. For knowing I wasn't as tough as I looked."

Yoite has never outwardly spoken to me about that before. Not like that, anyway; never so freely. It makes me happy to see that he's able to now. "That's okay. I did it because I love you."

I let out an involuntary shiver. Well, now that I think about it, if you're going to lay in bed naked with just a thin cover and each other for warmth, on a night like this, you're going to get cold, aren't you?

Yoite notices immediately. "Cold?"

I nod. He smiles and pulls out of the hug. "I'll try and find your shirt."

He rolls round and leans down, arm extended, fumbling around for it in the dark. If I crane my neck to look, I can see the muscle in his arm; not because he's overly muscular, but simply because there's nothing else there to really hide it. I flop down and stare at his bare back. The pale skin is dotted with even paler scars, faded from time but still visible, a stark reminder of his childhood. If I peer closer, I can see the vertebrae of his spine.

He turns a little. "What are you doing?"

I realise then that my hand is against his back. I smile, light pink blush spreading over my cheeks. "I… um… I don't know."

He laughs and lays back down, handing me a hoodie. "Sorry, it was too dark to find your shirt so I grabbed my hoodie instead. It'll probably be a little big on you, but it'll keep you warm, right?"

I nod, slipping it on over my head. "Thanks."

It _is _a little big; not so much weight-wise because we're both relatively skinny, but more length-wise. The sleeves, for one thing, completely drown me. I hold my arm up for Yoite to see and he laughs lightly, pulling me down beside him.

He yawns. "You tired?"

I nod. "I want to stay up and talk to you, but I don't think I have the energy."

"Naw, me neither." He kisses my forehead. "Oh well. At least we can just sleep here; we don't have to go anywhere."

I nod, too tired to reply, and run my hand through is hair lovingly. It's an effort just keeping my eyes open, so I close them and bury my face in Yoite's chest, surrounded by his scent; the scent I've grown to love.

"Night, Miharu," he murmurs. "I love you."

"I love you too," I manage, head drooping.

And then we relax, close and perfect, tired and loving. Yoite, who seems to be the slightly more awake one, strokes my back affectionately, and my body goes completely slack, listening to his gentle, steady heartbeat, falling asleep in my lover's arms.

**Nine Months Later:**

"MIHARUUUUU!"


End file.
